It's late and I'm tired. I've had a few things to do this weekend. The picture is visual shorthand for what I'm about to share. It's not quite the equivalent of a thousand words, but it'll do.
On the right are papers. There's a stack from each of my five classes, and then there are two more sets of essay exams. That's seven sets of papers in all, 144 total. I've been working on them, but I haven't made much of a dent yet. This is the first out-of-class assignment from each class, and I need to get through them before the next set arrives.
The left side has three of the weekend's other tasks. Of course, I have to do reading to prepare for next week's classes. Four of the books are textbooks for my classes. It's going to take a bit of time to read the stories and poems and chapters. I'm about halfway through what I need to finish, but Long Day's Journey into Night (for Tuesday's American literature class) is going to be time-consuming. The rest will be a breeze by comparison. I suppose I could just pop in one of the DVDs I own of the play, but that feels like cheating.
On the very top of that stack are two potential books for the developmental writing classes I'm teaching in the spring. That's right. Textbook orders are due; they have to be turned in by Wednesday. We had almost a week and a half to choose this time. I have to pick a new reader for the developmental classes because all of the ones that I've used before are out of print. Not many publishers have textbooks for that level, so the process gets tougher each time. A couple of really good textbooks, ones that students respond to very well, are no longer available, so I am on a quest for a new book. At least, that's the only class for which I'll have to find a new book, thankfully.
At the bottom of the stack but the first task I need to complete tomorrow is a set of materials for an upcoming accreditation site visit. Yes, I'm on another team evaluating another community college. Another winter in a summer town, as the song goes. This one's in Northern California, near Sacramento, apparently, and I leave next Sunday. Monday morning is the deadline for two reports. First thing tomorrow I have to get those completed, so I can e-mail them when I get to the office early Monday morning.
Behind all of this is the briefcase I use for work. I thought you might want a sense of scale and/or proportion.
So I hope you've had a more relaxing weekend. I'm almost at my wit's end.
2 comments:
And why am I still up, you might ask? I'm taking the GRE (general) Monday, and I have been doing prep tests for the last 45 minutes hoping that if I do them before I go to sleep I'll get them into the grey matter and, oh I don't know, somehow magical stuff will happen, and I'll be more prepared for this monster. My advisor told me not to worry too much, confessing, while trying not to confess, that most schools do not really fawn over GRE test scores, enforcing that I shouldn't fret myself silly.
My stacks don't compare to yours, but I do have so much to do I feel I'm also at my wits end. As of this moment, I have to read the first half of Shakespeare's Henry IV, write a microtheme on the Seneca Falls Women's Rights Conference of 18..er, 18some-year-or-other, come up with a thesis arguing the class structure, and discursive formation regarding the city structure, of London as the great teacher of gentlemanly manners in Great Expectations, finish reading Great Expectations, gather my ideas about diffusing tensions concerning race and gender expectation through third party sublimation involving the use of an innocent (the objectification of Travis in A Raisin in the Sun), draft a statement of purpose for USC, UCLA, and UCI (I'm really hoping for acceptance into USC), revamp my Moby-Dick essay for the writing sample, prepare for the GRE on Monday, study for a geology test occurring Wednesday (groan), and try to get some rest so I don't get sick from stress, which is usually what happens when I'm so stressed and anxious that I can't sleep at night.
I tried to get in some exercise and relaxation today by going on a mini hike with Todd, and seeing a movie with friends at the Arclight. Of course, out of the whole theater two men who sat directly behind me engaged in an egregious abuse of free speech, and only ceased to comment on the film when a theater in the round of shushing ensued. The film I saw, Appaloosa, was nice. I was waiting for something very shocking and terrible to happen the whole time, as Westerns seem to have gotten more grizzly and realistic with violence, but the movie had a steady pace about it which made it satisfying and not too jarring (of course there are surprises, but it's safe to say no one gets dismembered and there are no close ups of gangrene or decomposed bodies). What I liked the most was the dialogue between the two main characters, Everett and Cole. They talk about their feelings, even when they don't want to. It's an interesting touch for a Western. Also, there are some very interesting power relationships at work in this film. I'll be interested in what you think.
What I was actually going to go on about before I got sidetracked was that I went to relax, and halfway through the movie I found myself just waiting for it to be over. I'm really stressed out, and I think it's a stress I haven't experienced in a long time; I don't know if I'm going to get into a program that could very well change my whole life. I thought a PhD was unattainable, and I feel like I can't get my hopes up about being accepted: I go to a sub-par school, my syntax is wretched, I didn't even go to high school, and I'm competing in a time when the economy is in a hole and people are more than likely seeking a career change and applying to PhD programs. USC seems like such a good fit, but what if I'm just not good enough? Ah, it seems I have a issue there; there is a question I've been asking all my life until it has become a song I sing instead of just saying nice to meet you.
So Joe, I see your stacks and I raise you existential dilemma plus potentially life-changing application processes. I'm pretty sure it's apples and oranges, but I'm in the mud, too. Weekends used to be a solace, now they offer a less convincing respite.
First, I wish you all the best on the GRE tomorrow. I do think those are incredibly silly tests, and any school that takes them seriously is not a place I'd particularly want to attend. I didn't do particularly well on the GRE (either the general test or the subjec test), and I managed to go to USC after all. Some schools rejected me outright because of my scores, and frankly, that told me that they weren't a good fit for me anyway. (I'm sure Blythe will disagree with me on this, but then again, she probably scored really well on her GRE.)
Don't start making assumptions about what USC or any other school wants in a graduate student. They have so many factors to consider, and none of the ones you mentioned are likely to be at the top of the list. They want an interesting mix of people, not a bunch of drones. If everyone had the same GPA and the same fields of interest, where would the fun be? Just get all of your stuff turned in and wait. I'm confident good news is coming.
For the record, you can't go wrong if you get into UCLA or UCI either. They're both good schools; they just have different areas of emphasis from USC.
I did sneak out on Friday to the Arclight myself to see "Religulous" (or however it's spelled), but thankfully, the audience was small enough that I was far away from anyone who might have been too chatty. I like it when the theaters aren't full. That probably explains why I don't go out at night on the weekends.
I hope you've made a dent in your stack. I've made a tiny bit of progress today, but I still have, obviously, lots more to go. I'd really rather watch last week's episodes of "Mad Men" and "Chuck" or finish rereading "Less Than Zero." But sacrifices have to be made. Hang in there.
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