Going to the Movies

In recent years, I've seen an increasing number of articles on the decline in the number of movie tickets being sold. Fewer and fewer people, it seems, are venturing out to see films in the theaters. This, of course, is a cause of some concern, even though most films make most of their money on DVD sales and rentals anyway. Such concerns periodically spawn articles about what has led to this downward trend. Whenever I hear people discussing why movie attendance is down, I have to wonder if any of them have actually been to the movies lately. One trip to the local theater will give you all the insight you need as to why people might prefer to stay home and watch movies on TV or DVD instead.

I went to see There Will Be Blood this afternoon, sort of my alternative programming for the Super Bowl. Thinking that most people who want to see it had already done so, I confidently waited until almost the last minute to leave the apartment and make the walk to the Grove. The ticket was still under 10 dollars, a minor miracle in Los Angeles these days. (Check out the peak time prices now. I can recall paying $2.50 for movies when I was growing up. Am I really that old?) I walked to the theater where the movie was screening to discover that with five minutes left before the film began, almost every seat was taken. Yes, almost every one, certainly every one in the upper tier. I wound up in the second row all the way on the left side of the screen. That's a bit close for my taste, and my neck is going to pay the price for it tomorrow, I'm sure. I haven't sat so close to the screen since an ill-fated attempt to watch Honeymoon in Vegas many years ago with my mother, my brother, and his then-girlfriend. Thankfully, There Will Be Blood is a better movie and holds your attention even if you might be a bit too close.

After I found my seat, then the fun truly began. Others came late to the theater as well, and after giving up on finding a seat elsewhere in the room, they came to my row. I had no fewer than five people attempt to sit next to me at various times during the previews. After a few seconds or minutes, most got up and went to find somewhere else to sit (where, I have no idea), muttering about "being too close." Finally, someone parked in the seat and stayed there. He was not, unfortunately, alone. He had brought with him a large bag of popcorn, which he proceeded to munch throughout much of the 2 hour, 39 minute movie. I guess you don't want to eat all of your goodies during the previews. That wouldn't allow you to annoy the people sitting around you during the particularly quiet scenes of the movie (like the first 15 minutes of There Will Be Blood, which are wordless). He was probably the same guy who sat behind me years ago when I went to see Mimic (a truly stupid movie); that popcorn muncher was so loud, I actually checked my watch to see how long he had been eating (1 hour, 25 minutes, if you're interested, and that's constant chewing, by the way).

Then, 25 minutes after the movie had started (yes, the actual movie, not the trailers), a family arrived to sit in the front row. Seven of them. The youngest might have been 6? The oldest child might have been 12? Once again, I began to wonder about the parenting skills of moviegoers. It reminded me of the time I saw Pulp Fiction in Burbank, and a mother brought her three daughters (the youngest one might have been 6 as well, and the oldest wasn't even 12, I don't think). Do people not pay attention to movie ratings at all any more? Who wants to take young children to a movie with as much violence as There Will Be Blood? Have they not even read the title of the movie? Have all of the torture porn movies (Saw, Hostel, etc.) sold out? Of course, this being a somewhat intellectual movie, the children got bored very quickly. They didn't seem to be too intrigued by the acting or cinematography or the movie's examination of religious fanaticism or anything having to do with the movie, really. They proceeded to walk around the front of the theater or to walk in and out of the theater to buy more food. I was pretty sick of the smell of hot dogs by the end of the film.

I don't even know how to begin on the topic of cell phones. Three of them went off during the movie. Three of them. Shouldn't the owners of the second and third ones have taken a hint from the first one? I keep my cell phone turned on silent or turned off almost all of the time. Perhaps I'm not as important as these people who can't afford to take a couple of hours of free time on a Sunday afternoon. No, they need to be tethered to the outside world, even though they're in a movie theater. At least, no one answered the phone and started talking. (Yes, that really happened once when I was at a screening in Century City. The woman told her friend about everything that was going on in the film. Several of us had her removed by the usher because she wouldn't stop talking.) And if people weren't letting their cell phones ring, they kept opening their phones to check the time. Doesn't anyone wear a watch any more? Do the rest of us need to have the blue glow of your cell phone distracting us from the movie? Are you really that bored? Why don't you just leave if you are? At least, no one around me was texting someone else. (Oh, yes, happens all the time nowadays. I saw someone sending messages during a screening of Atonement recently.)

So I endured sitting in the second row, so close that I think I could feel Daniel Day-Lewis's mustache brush against me from time to time. I endured the high ticket prices and the hyperactive children and the cell phone lights and the popcorn stench and noise. I even managed to survive the inappropriate laughter that emanated at the oddest times. Some of the most serious dialogue got laughs. Go figure. I had no idea There Will Be Blood was a comedy. However, I almost didn't make it out of the theater without causing a scene. As the end credits began to roll and most of the other patrons ran for the door as if a fire had broken out, three women behind me decided to start a conversation. It was somewhat related to the film, but only tangentially and only at times. What was most intriguing was how, as the music that plays over the credits would swell, they would talk louder so as to be heard over the now-almost-deafening music. Is it just me or should you go outside if you're going to talk rather than watch the end credits? And if you're going to have to keep raising your voice because the movie is interfering with your conversation, maybe you shouldn't be in the movie? Naturally, they were oblivious to the other people around them who were still trying to pay attention. I gritted my teeth and walked out just before they did, thus avoiding the overwhelming need I had to point out their rude behavior.

I realize this is quite a rant and that you were probably unprepared for the depth of my outrage, but in recent years, I've gone to fewer and fewer movies in theaters. I used to love seeing films on the big screen. There really is no substitute for it. It's an experience that cannot be duplicated at home, no matter how big your television screen is. But each time I go nowadays, it seems there is some new indignity that is foisted upon me. People used to have manners when they went out in public, and I'm not seeing much evidence of that any more. I really don't relish the thought of having to pay Arclight prices each time I want to see a movie, but it does guarantee you a specific seat, and the people there do seem to be somewhat better behaved overall. What is a movie lover to do? Is it time to abandon going out to the movies?